Life's Hidden Recipe

How vast, immense, and measureless!

2010-09-29T00:38:00.001+08:00

How vast, immense, and measureless
The love of Christ to me!
How else could such a wretch as I
Be blessed so graciously?
To bring me back unto Himself,
My Lord His all did spend;
So I would gladly bear the cross
And follow to the end.
My all I have forsaken now,
This blessed Christ to gain;
Now life or death is no concern—
What else can me restrain?
My dear ones, wealth ambition, fame—
What can they offer me?
My gracious Lord for me was poor;
For Him I poor would be.
My precious Savior now I love,
Him only would I please.
For Him all gain a loss becomes,
And comfort holds no ease.
Thou art my comfort, gracious Lord!
I've none in heav'n but Thee.
And who but Thee is there on earth
With whom I love to be?
Though loneliness and trials come,
My griefs I'd rise above.
This only would I ask Thee, Lord:
Surround me with Thy love!
O gracious Lord, I now beseech,
Guide me through every stage;
Stand by and strengthen me to go
Through this dark, evil age.
The world, the flesh, and Satan too,
Do tempt my soul apace;
Without Thy love and strength'ning power
I may Thy name disgrace.
The time, dear Lord, is running short;
From earth my soul set free.
When Thou dost come, I'll sing with joy,
Hallelujah to Thee!

Declared Through The Universe...

2009-09-22T00:49:00.017+08:00

A friend of mine who considers himself as a free-thinker once asked me, "How do you know that there is a God?"

This question is actually sensitive to most people. Yet, there a lot of people who like to debate about this topic. Is there a God? Is He real? In my faith and experience, I would definitely say YES to both questions. In fact, I can give my testimony and experience about God but you will never realize and understand my subjective experience.

So just let me share some facts that would surely give an impression that God exists even before you and I were born in this world.

Firstly, God is declared through the universe. Look at the night sky. Astronomers estimate that there are more than one hundred billions stars in our galaxy and that there may be billions of galaxies in the universe. Each star we see represents a solar system in the universe. Our own solar system has the sun as it's center, and it has nine planets revolving around it in a clock-like precision. The earth as one of the planets, speeds through space at 67,000 miles an hour and takes 365 days to circle the sun. Just imagine a train traveling at 1/1000 of this speed will many times miss it's schedule. But the rotation and revolution is at a very consistent and constant pace without a single miss.

The distances between the sun, the moon, and the earth provide a marvelous environment for life to exist. If the earth were to come 10% closer or farther away from the sun, all living beings on earth would be either scorched to death or frozen. If the moon were 50,000 miles from earth instead of 230,000 miles, all the ocean on earth would be sucked by the moon and land mass would be submerged. These are but a tiny fraction of the movement of the universe but all this precise distances and circulations tell us of a wonderful design that is in place.

The law of cause and effect tells us that for every phenomenon, there must be a cause. If a watch keeps time accurately, there must be a watchmaker who made it. If a house stands magnificently on a hill or cliff, there must be a builder who built it. If a garden is well-trimmed, then there must be a gardener who takes care of it. In the same way, the obvious design behind the universe speaks of a Creator who has caused these things to appear the way they are.

In physics, there is the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that any physical system left to itself will decay and become disorderly. Yet the whole universe and particularly on earth, remain highly organized. There is order and design in everything that we see. A former head of the nuclear physics department in the Institute of Physics in Kiev, Dr. Boris P. Dotsenko, who was taught in atheism, wrote in relation of the Second Law: "As I thought about all of that, it suddenly dawned on me that there must be a very powerful organizing force counteracting this disorganizing tendency within nature, keeping the universe controlled and in order. This force must not be material; otherwise, it too would become disordered. I concluded that this power must be both omnipotent and omniscient. There must be a God -- one God -- controlling everthing!"

Throughout history some people have at times opposed the idea of God. The very fact that they have opposed it means that God is there. The fact that some rebellious sons disown their fathers means that they do have a father. The fact that some people try to tear dow the family means that the family is a reality. The law of inference tells us that opposition to anything presupposes that the thing itself exists.

Consider what the universe tells us about God. Psalm 19:1 says that "the heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament proclaims the work of His hands." The universe speaks of God's glory and wisdom. The God who created the universe is powerful, glorious, and wise.

Likewise, if you wish to know the universe, you must know God. This is because the universe displays and declares "both his eternal and divine characteristics"(Rom 1:20). So how do I know that God exists? Because the universe exists to declare God!

Thoughts and fact taken from Crystallization Study of the Gospel of God, The Ministry of the Word Vol. 13, No. 7. July 2009, and There is God booklet, LSM

Has the wine run dry so soon?

2009-09-15T21:43:00.010+08:00

Has the wine run dry so soon?
I have barely tasted it;
Long before my tongue has quenched its thirst,
Has the wine run dry?
I have spent my final dime
On the thing I thought would last,
But as soon as I held it, it slipped away,
Now I’m still so dry.
I have climbed the highest peak;
Took me twenty years to train;
As I reach the top, I looked around and all I saw:
Vanity that’s all.
I have probed the greatest minds,
I’ve believed in every cause,
But my heart won’t hear philosophy or reasonings,
Left again dissatisfied.
Took me too, too long to see
That this world’s all vanity;
I’ve been through too much to just pretend it’s all okay;
Give me reality.
On my deepest, darkest night,
On my knees I cried aloud,
Someone came to me, he changed my
death to eternal life,
Gave me meaning, reason to live.
I will call upon His name,
I will draw this well and drink;
When I call His name, Jesus Lord, the waters flow;
That’s the name I love.
All this time it was just Him,
He has saved the best for last;
Now I’ve finally found the wine that won’t run dry.
And He’s the sweetest wine of all.

click title for mp3

Paid In Full...

2009-09-09T23:06:00.016+08:00

This is the first time that I wrote something about it. I want everyone, whether we've met in person or not, to know this. Though it has been many years since I received it, but now, I have the boldness to share that I had found something real. A treasure that I have not known to exist before. I didn't know that the dinner invitation i received from a classmate on the night of September 2001, will be the one invitation that I had been waiting all this time. An invitation that ultimately changed the course of my entire life.

Before that night, I have lived a life thinking about myself. Only me mattered. I cared only for me, for what I feel, what I want, and what I need. Only considered myself until I found Him. Until the Lord met me face to face. He is the treasure that I found. And I am just an earthen vessel holding this treasure. All that time, I was a vessel of no value, until I received that treasure.

I have heard so many times about how Jesus died for us, so that our sins can be forgiven. I have heard so many times that the verse John 3:16 can be recalled from my memory with just a blink of an eye. I grow up reading, and hearing that verse. But do we really know the real meaning of Jesus's death on the cross? I pray that this will give you a new revelation or understanding on the Lord's dying and resurrecting for us.

Christ, who is righteous, was judged on behalf of us, the unrighteous. So that He might remove the barrier of our sins and bring us to God. On the cross, He was made sin for us. And by dying on our behalf, He was able to fulfill God's righteous requirement. Now for the sake of righteousness, God must forgive us( 2 Corinthians 5:21, Romans 8:3, John 19:30).

God has no choice but to forgive us. Let me give an illustration with a landlord and a tenant. Suppose the tenant has not paid rent for twenty years, but one day a friend of his pays all the rent he owes on his behalf. Since the rent has been paid, the landlord cannot then demand any payment from the tenant; if he did, he would be unrighteous. The accumulation of the unpaid rent is like a sinner's "wages of sin" which is death and which MUST be paid. However, Christ paid the wages of sin by His death on the cross. He died on the cross to pay the wages of sin for all sinners. Therefore, by dying on our behalf, Christ fulfilled all God's righteous requirement from us.

Furthermore, not only did Christ die as our Substitute, paying the wages of sin for us but He also resurrected. Because the souls who sins must die, Christ had to die to pay the wages of sin as our Substitute. Moreover, every sinner who believes into Christ has also been crucified with Christ and is thereby dead to the demands of God's righteous requirement. We can tell the enemy, "Satan, do not accuse me. All my sins are forgiven. My debt has been paid. I am in Christ. I am crucified with Christ and have been resurrected with Him." In His resurrection, Christ became the "receipt" of the payment for our sins.

It is like when the rent is paid, the landlord issues a receipt as proof of payment. Likewise, the receipt that proves Christ's death has been accepted by God is the resurrected Christ Himself! He is the proof that we have been justified by God.

Being paid in full doesn't mean we don't do anything. There are two things we need to do right now if we haven't done so. We need repentance. To repent does not only mean we ask for forgiveness but it means a change in heart, a turn in our thinking and our mentality. Formerly, I was moving in a certain direction, with my back turned to God. After I heard the gospel, I turned around. This is the meaning of repentance. Then we need to believe. To believe in the Lord Jesus means to come back to our birthright. To come back to the enjoyment of God and to the expression of God! This is the meaning of repenting and believing in the Lord Jesus. It is just so wonderful! This gospel I'm sharing to everyone right now is not just some ordinance, or doctrine that I know. But the real gospel is a Person! The gospel is Christ Himself, who is real and living, and in whom we can experience and enjoy in all things!

Note: Italicized text are excerpts from Crystallization Study of the Gospel of God, The Ministry of the Word Vol. 13, No. 7. July 2009, LSM

A Dream... by Edgar Allan Poe

2009-09-08T02:39:00.014+08:00

From neiloytz's picasa

In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed-
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream- that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar-
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?

This is one of my favorite poems from Edgar Allan Poe's collection when I was much younger. This poem has a very natural expression. It's like expressing some view and sharing it with a friend. Yes, this poem gives me an impression of a conversation with someone close to you. Sharing your feelings in an open but intimate manner.

-neiloytz- 08/09/2009

1st Singaporean Post Lah!

2007-03-10T15:07:00.000+08:00

After 5 weeks of adjusting and getting used to life in Singapore, I decided to start blogging again!(Whatever!) --- this can even serve as sort of an overview of you guys who want come here to settle down or start fresh!

Coming here to Singapore was the biggest decision that I had ever made to date... As Heroes is the most exciting series by far!(Off-tangent lah!). Some friends that I've known for years, a year, or even a few months, had made leaving Cebu not as easy and smooth as I hoped it would be. Separation from my family and closed friends have put me to tears for days even during my flight.

I had been in Cebu most days of my waking life. Though I was not originally from Cebu, but most of my education and my 1st experience in the work-driven world had been spent there. With memories ranging from the best to worst, Cebu had been part of it all. It was hard but I know its for the best. There are somethings in life that we need to let go to achieve the things that we want to achieve, and continue to the path that we need to thread in. There will be people missed and left behind but as one of the most famous quotes tell us --- "Change is the only permanent thing in this world".

Now I am Singaporean Lah! I am in Singapore and who knows how long.... but being here for a month and so, gave me a fresh start and a good view on how I would start living a new adventurous life ahead! I love it here! Inspite of minor setbacks like occasional disorientation in train olfactory chuvas, most things in Singapore are things to be thankful of! This has been the cleanest country I've been so far ( compared with Taiwan, Japan, and our beloved country, RP).
About the people, hmmmm.... there are a lot of Chinese descents( 75%) and the rest are Malaysians, Indonesians, Indians--we call them "anaps"-- slang term for "indian pana"(one of the more dominant races here), Bangladeshis,Filipinos(most of them seem to cluster in groups at Lucky Plaza), Caucasians, etc. In the personal note, I like the locals here than foreigners. I also met pinoys from different parts of the Philippines in various occasions.

About transportation... Singapore has one of the most convenient and systematic way compared again to other countries I've visited. Maybe more than 10x more convenient than getting to places in the Philippines. You can buy what you need in the nearest MRT station or mall which is quite abundant here knowing this country is one of the biggest shopping centers in the world.

For the food... I love it!(Though most of u know how i love food). Though not as salty or tasty as I was used to but there are a lot of wonderful foods to choose from. One of my favorites is the "laksa" a malay or thai specialty which is made of spicy coconut milk soup with chicken or seafoods in different noodle types that you could choose from. Another food I love is the roti prata -- unique indian bread similar to "pita" but thinner and better tasting. It comes with the traditional curry sauce that you can dip in or mix with. But of course, one who just come to Singapore to visit need to try chicken rice, chilli crabs, pepper crab, prawn mee soup, and an adorable hot/iced milk tea ( teh tarik in tamil).

I might continue posting things about me here in Singapore.... I kinda miss the people in Cebu and not Cebu itself so I hope I could see you guys soon! :)

Rock on and peace out! :)

neiloytz

See-through blindness...

2005-10-25T13:18:00.000+08:00

Felt the anguish;as being consumed by fire
like steel melting into drops of pure liquid.
Being perforated and dissolved -
Vanishing into thin air, forever unnoticed.

Sensed the longing; as being emptied then filled
then emptied again. Like lying in green grass of
earthly meadows, then being dragged in cobbled stones
Where flesh and bones are scraped by bitter sorrow.

Moved by passion;like a horse running wild and free
in a vast terrain. And a lily sprouting out from
the depths of the river. Like a salmon swimming
upstream to issue life,returning to the salty waters to die.

-neiloy-

The Weakness In Me

2005-08-03T13:36:00.000+08:00

This song is one of my favorite songs from the old Dawson's Creek episodes, wherein the series was still fresh and they released their 2nd OST cd...

I'm not the sort of person
Who falls
In and quickly out of love
But to you I gave my affection
Right from the start

I have a lover
Who loves me
How could I break such a heart
Yet still you get my attention

Why do you come here
When you know I've got trouble enough
Why do you call me
When you know I can't answer the phone

Make me lie
When I don't want to
And make someone else
Some kind of an unknowing fool
You make me stay
When I should not
Are you so strong
Or is all the weakness in me

Why do you come here
And pretend to be just passing by
When I mean to see you
And I mean to hold you
Tightly

Feeling guilty
Worried
Waking from tormented sleep
This old love has me bound
But the new love cuts deep

If I choose now
I'll lose out
One of you has to fall
And I need you
And you

-------------
This song just reminded me of the
good old days during college...
Hmmm but dili man ko karelate ani
karon... I don't know but it still
send shivers down my spine everytime
I hear this!

Childhood Blessings

2005-08-03T11:35:00.000+08:00

This poem was written during my overworked hours in the office. Sometimes wishing that I could just go back to my childhood days. To the times when things are way simpler and genuinely uncomplicated

I miss the old days
Those days when we just sit under that big acacia tree
Thinking of how to make the best flying kite.
And deeming a complete afternoon
With an ice-cold sago drink from across the street

I miss the old days
Just like the first time we saw leaves falling from my window
Counting them one by one as they fall off to the ground.
Not thinking on how much we would be spending this month.
Nor be bothered with chattels and charges of life.

I miss the old days
When I find myself lying next to you in the rooftop
Gazing at the vast star-lit sky, watching them take form
And the moment that your eyes widened softly
When a shooting star hurtled over our heads.

I miss the old days
When we swim to our hearts content on occasional river trips.
Carelessly jumping across the riverbed and racing with my dog, Smoke.
Special afternoons, sitting in the front porch watching the clouds,
And the comfort of silence, reckoned it to be the best times of my life.

-neiloy-

I like you calm, as if you were absent

2005-04-13T16:49:00.000+08:00

XV From:’ Veinte poemas de amor’
by Pablo Neruda

I like you calm, as if you were absent,
and you hear me far-off, and my voice does not touch you.
It seems that your eyelids have taken to flying:
it seems that a kiss has sealed up your mouth.

Since all these things are filled with my spirit,
you come from things, filled with my spirit.
You appear as my soul, as the butterfly’s dreaming,
and you appear as Sadness’s word.

I like you calm, as if you were distant,
you are a moaning, a butterfly’s cooing.
You hear me far-off, my voice does not reach you.
Let me be calmed, then, calmed by your silence.

Let me commune, then, commune with your silence,
clear as a light, and pure as a ring.
You are like night, calmed, constellated.
Your silence is star-like, as distant, as true.

I like you calm, as if you were absent:
distant and saddened, as if you were dead.
One word at that moment, a smile, is sufficient.
And I thrill, then, I thrill: that it cannot be so.

Reasonings of an Optimist

2005-04-04T20:32:00.000+08:00

It’s never too late
And the lot always is
Walking on its own time,
Even despair or desolation
Ought to have no significance.
For hope never falters
It’s relentlessly there.
Even sitting beside you
Or standing behind you,
And every so often,
It’s right in your face
But you missed its company.
One just needs to ascertain,
How to seize the possibility
That hope has to tender.
Neither can we charge circumstance
Nor reason with fate.
As choice is always certain,
And it’s our verdict to make.

Psalm 42:1

2005-02-18T10:49:00.000+08:00

As the hart panteth after the water brooks,
panteth my soul after thee, O God.

We all long for something deep within, something to satisfy the void... We try to look for it in our careers, search for contentment in entertainment, sports, and romantic relationships... but all we could ever reach is momentary contentment. After sometime we long for something more, long for something that we have not yet achieved. We may have all the riches in the world, the best devices that money could buy, and could have traveled the entire world, but in the end, all that we could feel is nothing but an unfathomable thirst for something...

We ask ourselves why? ...

It is because we are not created to only contain these things. Man is a tripartite being consisting of the flesh, the soul, and spirit. The flesh which is the physical part of man is the outward part. The soul consisting of the mind, emotion, and will is a deeper part and affects all our decisions and actions. Lastly, the spirit which is the deepest part of man is designed to contain God.

1 Thessalonians 5:23
And the God of peace Himself sanctify you wholly, and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

We may be able to satisfy our bodies by eating, drinking, and sleeping. We may satisfy our desires through sports, leisure, and attending to our emotions. But only by containing the Lord in our spirit that we will truly be satisfied!

Like a glove designed to contain the hand, we, in our spirit, is designed to contain God.

Just as i am...

2005-02-16T22:36:00.000+08:00

Just as i am looking at you right at this very moment, flashes of never ending waves had been signaled back to the depths of my being. I can't help to stare, as you stand there with a radiating aura that transmits something unfathomable.

I was in awe, in a trance-like figure, frozen and unmoving, at the moment you transfixed your gaze on me. I would like to stay at that moment. But i know that it was nothing real, nothing that would ever come true.

I had been dreaming and I know, maybe sometime right at this very moment, I would wake up to the reality that I will not be able to touch you, or stand beside you, no matter how I struggle to keep up with your pace.

It has already been decided. Fate had not allowed it to happen in my favor, for my sake... All I could do now is to accept it, and move on.

That's all that is to it. But wait... can I at least know your name? Or perhaps be able to say hello.

Perhaps not even that could happen. For all that is allowed is some distant gaze...

a love poem...

2005-02-15T07:50:00.000+08:00

One does not question why,
Or how, or when...
For love needs no reason
Its existence is love.
Its being is love.
Love exists because one feels.
It needs no answer.
Love waits and sits down in the corner.
It does not shed a tear
And feels no regret for loving.
Love is never selfish.
For it wills to give.
But when love leaves,
Wounds are etched.
Scars are made.
And hearts are broken.

--neiloy--

To the Stars

2005-02-14T18:09:00.000+08:00

Originally titled as Ode to the Stars

Tonight,the stars are crying.
Oh stars, why do you weep?
Does your weeping bury your sorrow?
Or is every flicker, a tear of your joy?
Why do you keep your distance?
Why haunt me
With such recluse.

Touch seems meaningless to you.
Yet the horizon awaits your caress.
Why don't you lie still on its bed?
Are you afraid?
That the sea would drown your light.
Or are you just too proud
To step down from your pedestal.

Oh beloved stars, grace me with your comfort.
Be a legion to the moon in silent solitude.
Your light is of bitter sweet amber,
Nearly fading out but constantly burns.
But tonight, beloved, you are all crying.
Are you weeping for my sake?
Or wailing for Aurora's nearness.

--neiloy--

A Feather of Encouragement

2004-10-27T08:41:00.000+08:00

Never live in a moment’s despair.
But rather breathe.
Be soaked in a sun-drenched glow.

Do not be fearful,
For no one is too old to grin.
Not even the primeval sycamore tree,
With its constant bend towards my window
Smiles with unrelenting freshness.

Be buoyant.
Keep still and be floating.
Discard the weights that drop you.

Never trust the bubbles of plummeting.
All it offers is loss and vacuum.
Desire and be perpetually hopeful,
Like the wave wishing to touch the shore.
Or the breeze wanting to kiss the coconuts.
Cast down your load to the ground.

Stop feeding your pains.
Soar without holding on to something.
Liberate yourself,
Devoid of cause and devoid of reason.

Constantly live in the autumn grounds
Or conjure the vitality of spring.
Lest it be sprinkled with the flowing waters of time.

Untie your roots, my love.
Live, love , and be loved
As if tomorrow would sojourn
On a one-way trip towards bliss.1

420 2004/13/04
--neiloy--

Angel's Sin

2004-10-21T22:26:00.000+08:00

this is one of Di's masterpieces. One of the nicest poems i've read. Di's truly a poetic prodigy, to say the least!okay if you're interested about her... just visit her spot : http://watermark4.blogspot.com and you'll see what i mean.

how come angels cry
and hide behind their solid wings
when heaven is within their grasp
their reality, a whisper
closer to our dreams

how come angels fall
like torn leaf when season's change
a sacrifice they blindly choose
mortality, divinity, exchanged

how come angels sin
and create a black hole
in their heartsthey fall from grace
and swayed the path
paradise old, to paradise new
a million miles apart

how come angels do
what they do when they cry and fall and sin
they go down on their scraped, wounded knees
and are brought home again

On Pablo Neruda

2004-06-22T21:21:00.000+08:00

Well i know i'm guilty of being a touchy-feely kind of person.But you can't blame me if I love Pablo Neruda's poems. He's simply just a pretty amazing poet to me. So let me give you some foretaste if you haven't heard of him... this was one of the poems included in the album for the ost of the movie "Il Postino" ( The Postman), read by Madonna.

[If You Forget Me]
by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Venturing into the world of blogs

2004-06-21T20:48:00.000+08:00

Not sure what got into me. I questioned myself why or how did i finally end up here? With just the tiniest faint of recognition on what was actually happening, I remembered my friend, di! Yeah she was the one who got me to visit her blogs and read her latest meandering, forcing me to comment on what she has written. Don't get me wrong here people, I don't have the slightest regret in doing so!

"Di"--she's one of the best writers in my generation that I know. I love reading her blogs and that was what pushed me to have one myself. And now, here i am writing my first blog. Hoping that somebody, somewhere in the vast empty space, would somehow get lost in my blog. Then that humanoid alien would tell himself... "hmmmm... this is interesting! Fine specimen! Perhaps I would take him home to my world" ... and that would be the end of my happy bloggings.

Good night everyone! Hope to see you once in a while in my hidden dyslexia...